Picky Eaters, Part 1: The Root
Where does picky eating come from? Dealing with picky eaters can be a challenge for the omnivorous or adventurous cook. Let’s explore some of the reasons some folks keep a limited diet – and how we can address those needs and help them expand their tastes!
If you’ve ever used one of these words to describe yourself, your child, or someone you know, you probably know the frustration of trying to feed someone who doesn’t seem to like a wide variety of foods.
Perhaps it’s your screaming toddler, who’s latched onto a diet of grape juice and animal crackers; your nine year old who would eat peanut butter sandwiches for every single meal if she could, or even your spouse, who methodically reads the online menu and identifies what he’s going to order before you hit the restaurant.
Let’s talk about some of the reasons that people get labeled “picky eaters.”
Too many tastebuds.
Young children not only have taste receptors on their tongues, but also on the insides of their cheeks and the roofs of their mouths. As you can imagine, this means that kids taste things with great intensity, which can help explain why some are very sensitive to strong flavors – or seem to be able to taste things you can’t. For most people, the number of tastebuds does fade over time, and most adults can no longer taste things anywhere but their tongues. However, some people do retain a high number of tastebuds, and we call these people supertasters. I call them the superheroes of the cooking world, since they’re able to fine-tune their flavors easily, or can sense what’s missing in a dish.
Genetics.
Yes, it’s true. When folks like me eat a big spoonful of salsa verde, or sprinkle cilantro’s pretty leaves over a salad, others – sometimes even our own families – shudder in disgust. To them, cilantro tastes like soap, and will never change. Unless they learn to like the taste of Ivory Flakes, you’ll find them carefully removing the garnish from every taco and Thai curry.
Experience and context.
Consider this: you have never seen or eaten a sweet potato before, when someone puts a plate of roasted sweet potato chunks in front of you. How might you decide whether or not you might like it? You might experimentally cut into one, consider the color, the smell, and texture. You might decide that it seems similar to a roasted carrot, which you love, and take a big bite. Or you might realize it seems a little too close to the butternut squash you had – and hated – recently, and politely pass.
Now imagine you’re a child without that bank of memories. You learn to recognize some foods quickly by their shape and texture, and realize that these are reliably the same each time. But it’s hard for you to draw comparisons between this sweet potato and your old favorite crackers. Maybe you simply have never tried carrots or butternut squash – or don’t remember having tried them. With your ultra-sensitive mouth, trying new foods can be a huge risk! You’ll need to be very brave in order to try this unfamiliar experience.
For some adults, this fear of the unknown never fully goes away. We learn coping strategies, like reading menus ahead of time and scanning for familiar dishes and ingredients, but dinner parties and foreign countries can be really challenging.
Part 2: What To Do
Here are the top three things that have helped me deal with picky eating in young children:
Tip 1: Figure Out The Patterns
Flavor-sensitive kids tend to have one flavor that they prefer above all else; for some, it’s sweetness, some like it salty, and my mother will tell you that as a child I would drink pickle juice out of the jar for a love of all things sour. Bitter, earthy flavors are less popular when kids are young because they’re more intense and multilayered.
Pay close attention to the things your child loves, and slowly spread those flavors to less familiar foods. Does your child have a sweet tooth? Try a fruit-based or jam-based salad dressing. For meats, head BBQ – whether St. Louis, Kansas or Korean style, BBQ has cornered the market on sweet meats. For salt lovers, try pickled salads; for kids who hate anything sour, temper sour dishes with dairy products.
The idea here is slow, consistent growth that uses your child’s preferred flavor as a “scaffolding” to new experiences.
Tip 2: Don’t Give Up!
The highly scientific study of Dane’s Observations Over The Years has proved that kids often need to be presented with a food several times before tasting it. Remember that our experiences and “context catalogs” are both visual and taste-based. Unless a food makes a kid visibly ill (and I count gagging as visible illness, since the experience of gagging or choking on something is often enough to create a lifelong aversion), I keep going until the kid is old enough to tell me why they don’t like it. Not every day, or even every week. A few times per year is enough.
Have you ever heard of the “ice cube tray” method? It’s a really fun way to introduce young kids to new foods. Simply chop and serve a variety of foods, each in its own little compartment (an ice cube tray works perfectly for this). You can go with a theme, like “deconstructed salad” with lots of greens and veggies to try, or foods with all the same color. You can mix in some familiar treats with the new foods – but if this means your kid will just eat the treats and leave the rest, you might want to consider going all the way and just keeping it to new foods.
Don’t feel like you have to put 12 different foods into the tray – 3-4 new foods, mixed among each other will work just fine (and will cover your “introduce multiple times” bases!).
Tip 3: Give Up (sometimes)
Like you, your kids deserve a night off once in awhile. The trick? Make it a night where everybody gets what he or she wants. So your child wants the most nuclear-orange, preservative-enhanced boxed macaroni & cheese in the store? Then you get to have buttered bread with cinnamon sugar, or an entire bowl of cherries, or whatever your whims dictate. Make it clear that this is a special night for everyone. Do it as often as you’re comfortable doing it – for the most patient among us, it’ll be once a year, but for the rest of us – we’ll be doing it every Friday, right along with you. Because picky kids are tough, and we’ve got your back.